PT2 She told me to go home, finish high school, she referred me to two agencies through SAG-AFTRA and said to go get some commercials under my belt and to come back to her as "soon as I'm legal" She told me that I probably wouldn't need college because she said if I had walked into her office and was two years older she would have found work for me immediately.
P1 Mary Grady saw me,my headshots, liked my monologue and within ten minutes she said "Rose, get Cindy on the phone,"the biggest agent in Los Angeles,Cindy Osbrink she really liked me and my look and said that I'm "definitely marketable" but the problem is that I'm "hitting a brick wall" because agents will cast an 18 year old to play 16 before an actual 16 year old due to California labor laws. She told me to go through SAG-AFTRA and ATA to get myself an agent through Chicago to build my resume. She has all my contact information and said that as soon as they have any roles that fit me she would contact me and give me the sides, and to make a recording to send. She told me that to know that as soon as any director through her likes me they'd fly me out as soon as any production began.anything could happen at any moment they said but since it's so iffy with being 16, she doesn't want to move me and my mom out if I'm going to sit and wait for 2 more years until she can place me at 18.
I'm sitting on the flyaway on my way to LAX and I can't help but feel tears in my eyes. This time, unlike any other they aren't sad tears caused by leaving home, but happy ones because I know that not only will I be back very soon, but also because big things are in the works. Mark Twain once said that the two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you found out why. Today, April 11th, 2016; I found out why.
5 April 2016
Stretching out on the couch after a long night in Hollywood, saw a super groovy tribute to The Beatles, it was truly eye opening to see the many generations and varied types of people attending. Showing that music, art and culture sees no discrimination. Whether that be towards age, race or gender. I am currently enjoying yet another strawberry shake from In n Out; life is good.
3 April 2016
Laying on my back on the roof and looking at the suburbs below with ghost by Saavan blasting through my headphones. My heart hurts and I know that I shouldn't feel this way here. Every day Im beginning question the theory that "everything happens for a reason," more and more. Maybe my luck with timing is just truly awful. I wrote an essay on you, A. Fucking. Essay. There's only been two people in my life that I've felt an instant connection with and both of those connections physically cannot go anywhere. I suppose with how badly the second ended I had my hopes set on here, but I wouldn't be sitting alone on a rooftop if tonight had gone as planned.This journal entry will probably make 0% sense to anyone other than myself, but then again I honestly don't think anyone even reads these stupid things.And here I am again,wasting my time on something pointless.I'm so stupid.Shit.How does t mean nothing to you?I could help, I could take your mind off of everything.Give a little time to me.
2 April 2016
I'm Sitting on the roof of the apartment building and eating my lavender honey gelato with the hot sun beating down on me, and the warm summer like breeze blowing. The skyline is breathtakingly beautiful, the pool is crowded and drake music is playing loudly through a speaker. I'm alone, and at peace, and all together content with my life. This is the beginning of something big, and I truly cannot wait until I am finally able to call this magnificent place my home, after all it's always felt that way.
My past two days spent in DTLA have made me realize that it's perfectly acceptable to be in love with a city more than a person.
1 April 2016
I've witnessed so many different versions of human kind. A white (clearly mentally disabled) woman was swerving as she ran and jitters while running up sunset boulevard she wrasply screamed "SPREAD PEACE AND LOVE" sounds like a nice message, right? I mean it was until a tall darkly complected man walked past her and into a posh store, but before he walked in probably to purchase something that woman would never even dream of affording. The woman stopped her peaceful chants to lean towards the man and spit in his face.
My friend's Daniel and Tatjana have welcomed me into their cozy DTLA studio apartment, and as I'm getting comfy on the living room couch (which also doubles as my bed for the next few days) I get to fall asleep looking out the blurred glass of the nearly floor to ceiling length window, overlooking the Los Angeles streets below and I begin to realize that I couldn't be any more content with the now, than I am in this moment. The car horns blaring, drunk voices shouting all accommodating to the chaos that's beginning to put me to sleep faster than any quiet could.
31 March 2016
I couldn't be more content than flying above the clouds and looking down at the curvature of the world below. The Xanax may be of significance to my relaxed feelings...
I opened my composition notebook to start doodling and found a cute lil note my mom left me this morning because this trip was my 16th birthday present. How sweet.
Got to board the plane first. It's a cool feeling knowing that most people can't tell that I'm 16, and have never done this before, or atleast I hope that's the case. As soon as I hugged my mom goodbye she started to cry, but that's not saying much seeing as she cries during American Idol, Ellen and pretty much anything involving small children and animals😂
The atmosphere of the flight attendants, pilots and passengers is calming. The majority of passengers are young and there's several passengers who have caught my eye during my time spent in the terminal people watching. There's a beautiful man with starch blonde hair wearing a floor length black dress whose eyebrows are incredibly fleekin. And a boy who can't be much older than me wearing vans, an orange tie dye long sleeve with short dreads. Can't expect much less on a direct flight from Chicago to Los Angeles. The planes beginning to whir, which is my cue to take the half of a Xanax in my pocket.
Sitting in the airport terminal with over an hour left until boarding my tummy is beginning to fill with butterflies. I don't think the reality of traveling all alone is going to set in until take off. The thing I'm most nervous for isn't the act of flying itself, but the stranger I'm going to have to share an arm rest with for 4 1/2 hours. The flight people (for lack of a better term) didn't allow me to carry on my longboard seeing as it was a "Airline policy" and didn't have to do with TSA guidelines; thus making me check it. My board is sitting lonely somewhere in a large plastic bag beneath the plane, or getting carelessly tossed by more flight people. I'm going to continue and sip my chai and charge my phone until boarding begins at 3:30.