United Kingdom · 6 Days · 5 Moments · January 2018

Victoria's diary


28 January 2018

2 days to our holiday & my thoughts are very much like yesterday. Pain has subsided a bit after not walking the dogs for a day. Going to walk them today as need the exercise. Pain: 7/10 - Pain slightly eased but still taking maximum medication but on plus side no Oxynorm taken last night 😃. Mood: Is LOW Medication: Taking the maximum I can

27 January 2018

Well it’s now only 3 days to our holiday & my thoughts are very much like yesterday & if honest slightly more anxious & noticed the left side of my face has been drooping a lot more also been getting more night sweats. Just got a call from Paul & after general conversation & talking about my anxiety he’s made me feel calmer & easier. Pain: 8/10 - lumbar back very sore probably due to walking dogs 2 days in a row. Mood: Is LOW Medication: Taking the maximum I can

25 January 2018

Well it’s now only 5 days to our holiday & my thoughts are very much like yesterday & if honest slightly more anxious as my Hubby said I’ve got to be prepared if it doesn’t work. My thoughts then turned to that I would like to end my life if it doesn’t. Anyone who reads this may think this is extreme but I really cannot cope with this pain anymore. It’s debilitating my life & my mojo as I don’t like being restricted to what I can do. Started taking Niquitin lozenges today, so on road to stop smoking 😃🐶 Pain: 8/10 - lumbar back very sore probably due to walking dogs 2 days in a row. Mood: Is LOW Medication: Taking the maximum I can

24 January 2018

Well it’s now only 6 days to our holiday & my thoughts turn a lot to how my treatment is going to start in India. I’m anxious about it as this treatment to me is ‘last chance saloon’. If the treatment doesn’t work I’m not too sure what next step will be. I do have 98% faith it will work but the 2% that it doesn’t is bigger; if that makes sense. Pain: Is 7/10 so good news it’s started to subside a little. The pain is still in the same lumbar area of my spine & spreads from the right side of my neck to the end of my shoulder. Occasionally switches to my left side. However yesterday my face was down (due to my TMJ) but got it under control after a couple of hours. Mood: Still very with thoughts of hurting myself 4 days per week as no longer want to live with this condition. Medication (per day): Currently on 2 Tapentadol (100mg), 8 Co-codamol (30/50mg), 2 Amitriplytine (10mg), 1 Esctelipram (20mg), 3 Oxynorm (7ml), 6 Methcarbamol & 2 Fenofexidine (180mg).

23 January 2018

A week before we travel to India, where I will have 2 weeks treatment at Vedic Village. A week before India I wanted to write a small journal entry to describe my current pain, mood & medication levels. Pain: Is 8/10 7 days per week with it being at the lumbar area of my spine & spreads from the right side of my neck to the end of my shoulder. Occasionally switches to my left side. Mood: Very low with thoughts of hurting myself 4 days per week as no longer want to live with this condition. Medication (per day): Currently on 2 Tapentadol (100mg), 8 Co-codamol (30/50mg), 2 Amitriplytine (10mg), 1 Esctelipram (20mg), 3 Oxynorm (7ml), 6 Methcarbamol & 2 Fenofexidine (180mg).