90 Days · 15 Moments · January 2018

:)'s writing

7 April 2018

i’m fucking heart broken.

1 April 2018

adventure on the plane i felt so content, no words could describe. i stare blankley into whatever pleased me most. my head tilted back, music blaring through my head phones, the light dimmed to the perfect setting.

29 March 2018

i was just fooling myself believing we were anything other than strangers

28 March 2018

“to who” she said, i replied with such simple words as, “to myself” -when she asked me who i was going to move onto next after my current crush

25 March 2018

i asked how, how he could break me like that. his reply was but nothing but clear. it was easy for him, it even gave him pleasure. he felt more confident, popular, and you could even say he felt special. using me gave him what he needed and i was left with nothing. trying to build myself up from there was nearly impossible, but i wasnt going to give him that satisfaction. if i’m going to learn one thing, it’s that i am capable as just as much as a man, without being with a man. i will stand against my society and say that you taught me how to hate myself. i will reach my goals by myself, with the only help i need, is from the one who truely taught me what i know, my mom.
the great escape

22 March 2018

carelessly conventional

20 March 2018

some love to deep, but not you. it was thought to be a super power, yet to you it was a weakness. you were in a constant blank space, you could never feel yourself fall for one. yes, you never experienced heart break, but what’s heart break without love. no matter how hard you tried, you pick and picked out all their flaws, nobody could dare to impress you. the reason, you never learned to love yourself, so you never learned to love

5 March 2018

you believe in what you choose to.

8 January 2018

hidden in the corrupt forest was the misunderstanding truth. the ruthless observers denying their faults. they say it was none but her own. collecting the hate as if it was a ladder, climbing the hill just to shoot the bottom. pain was her middle name, but she wore it with grace. they thought her struggles were a show, nothing special, not until the misunderstood truth was left alone. the grief was real, unlike the love she deserved.
she was a barren country overthrown by the carnival, her eyes were the lighting in the thunderstorm. thought to be brave and strong, but truthfully miraculous and untouchable, she was the deep dark sea. that barren country seized to exist, it belonged only in her heart.
everything was perfect. it was loud and exotic, yet ive never endured something so comforting and relaxing. i had absolutely nothing to complain about. i was complete.
you are the ocean. rich and pure. hidden in the lack of greatness, yet excepted for what you are.
she strived to be something other than convenient, but that's what she was and she couldn't stop it. life poured out of her, it gleamed from her eyes, and shined from her skin. but they were blind, her originality was over looked, and all she was seen as was average. nothing changed. she was worth millions, and left the world thinking she was worthless.
the pain of not being good enough isn't a parallel universe, but the distress of feeling alone. your lungs collapse and your breath is taken in, but never released. your head spins like a roller coaster and your mind shuts off like a light switch. you are a mystery that no one can figure out, only because you lurk in shadow's and hide in solidarity.