United States of America · 1 Days · 9 Moments · January 2018

random thoughts

19 January 2018

Then at lunch I told claire and then talked to Vishal. He said his sister has anemia and that a lot of girls have it too. Oh yeah the person who pricked my finger also said girls’ hemoglobin level is usually lower than guys’. So I might need to go to family doctor to see if I’m anemic. But basically if u are, u just eat iron supplements and usually u get tired/fatigue. But I don’t really experience fatigue so idk?? I just sleep a lot LMAO
and then she said unfortunately “ur hemoglobin level is too low.” And if I didn’t hear incorrectly, she said normal was 12. something but mine was 6. something. And she said I can’t donate and “sorry, that’s it for today.” Oh before that she asked me if I was on my period and I said no. So I was sad I couldn’t donate and I was walking to 5th period for my LC when they had the announcements (I thought I was gon miss it). I was kinda scared tbh to hear that my hemoglobin was so low..like half of the required level. I didn’t really what they meant cuz ik hemoglobin carries oxygen but I’m not out of breath and stuff?? And I was sad I couldn’t donate cuz I was all ready and prepped myself and wanted to lie on that high bed AHAHA. But it’s ok.. then after the LC I asked jasmine and Edmund about it and they said it’s the iron level that’s low. And then I found out that red meat and spinach had lots of iron.
and then after I finished (oh yeah Ashley was next to me atm😊) I gave it back to them and they asked if I had my permission slip. And I went back to Matt cuz I gave it to him but then it wasn’t in the stack so I went back to the blood Center people’s desk and it was there LMAO. So then soon someone called me to get my finger pricked and I was so scared. She weighed me first and I was 145 (w the food and my phone and jacket AHAHA). Then she asked for name and address and I asked her if it was just like a pinch. Then she said people say how this is the worst part (meaning it hurts more than the blood donating😮). Then I was SHT. So wiped my finger w/ alcohol wipe and took out this yellow rectangular thing and put it against the side of my middle finger. Then she pressed it and it literally sounded like a stapler and it HURTTTT. The sting was there for a while....
ALRIGHTY AHAHAHA. I was excited and super nervous to donate blood bc of the needles and blood and yeah. It’s funny cuz people are like don’t u wanna be a doctor😂 I think not everyone starts out as not afraid and u can be brave to do it other people but be scared urself right🤔 ANYWAY so I walk into the gym around 10:40 (my time was 10:45) and I headed to the bathroom cuz my tummy wasn’t feeling well (prob from anxiety). So I pooped and pooped and came out around 10:50. Then I went to Matt and he gave the “educational materials” and another form and a Gatorade can + a bag of pretzels for me to eat yummmmmy. So I filled out form, read the papers, and drank Gatorade while doing so. Then I gave it to the blood Center people and she entered some info for a while. Sriman was next to me and we haven’t talked in a long time so it didn’t feel the same but good enough. Then she gave me an iPad and I had to answer questions about things like sexual relations, HIV, etc

18 January 2018

I see him heading for the drinks in the drinking area. OMG I THOUGHT, HES DUMPING THEM OUT. MY LAST HOPE VANISHED AND I WAS SO LET DOWN. I tried to find shim on kakao talk but I don’t think he goes by that name on the app. Now typing it, I should’ve called Ryan or something..fck my dumb ass. BUT YEAH.......3 disappointments all resulting food/drink. It’s not even that sad so idk why I’m so sad. And we finished at 9:40 so I had to go to target to wait for mom. So I just went to the shoes section for the chair cuz the chairs in the food area are all already on the tables. And being still disappointed and sht, I just played 8 ball pool. what a freakin day👍
Now typing this i regret so much that I didn’t ask or even that I didn’t just take some UGHHHH cuz the manager already asked me before. THIRD DISAPPOINTMENT was when I was leaving. As I walk out, I see Mia (she came back again?? Prob for Ryan??) and TOTALLY forget about my drink cuz I wave goodbye or say goodbye to her and shim. But after I walk through the door and walk about 7 steps, I’m like SHT MY DRINK😭😭😭😭😭 so I turn back around but all the doors are god damn locked. I was already sad about the pastries, AND the fries AND NOW MY OWN GOD DAMN DRINK. I’m a simple girl, if there’s food, I’m happy. So I stand near the door and wave my hands and jump and do sht to get their attention BUT THEY CANT AND DONT FCKING SEE ME. There’s a car and someone was in it nearby (I think it was either one of their friend or relative or who cares) and I see her/he looking at me lmao. Shim was doing his last cleaning touches for the bar and then...
Oh yeah, before this, I saw manager eating burgers and sht w the two other korean burgers and I think they were talking about kids and whatnot. So I was like damn it the burgers are prob just for them. But as I passed, the manager was like “take some” or “do u want some” and I was in the middle of cleaning and I felt kinda not awk but just not in the place to eat then. So I was like “oh after I clean.” But then after I clock out and wrote the time conflict paper, Ryan went to office. And they seemed to be waiting for me to go cuz they had to talk about sht. BUT I felt that I shouldn’t just take the fries cuz Ryan might be like wtf u just take the fries w/o asking. BUUUUUUT before Ryan came back to say this, when he left the first time he said something that wasn’t really audible/comprehensible..but I think it was about the fries or burgers..like I can take some or something. BUT NO MY STUPID ASS JUST DECIDED TO SAY BYE and not add in “can I take some fries.”
cake but manager said no cake. Then I got two pastries w one of the wrapped strawberry cake thingies then manager said only pastry but she said something that sounded like “next time” but I wasn’t sure but I just took it anyway AHAHAH. But while we’re cleaning and stuff, Ryan and manager went to habit and when they came back, they carried four bags of boxes so I was like omg did they get some for us. I kept keeping my hopes up and sht. Then clock strikes 9 and when the bread was there, I was like “can I take some bread” to Alejandra. She said yeah after the manager counts them but I think she asked Ryan about it and he said nah. SO THEN SHE FORGOT SBOUT ME or idk what happened BUT SHE JUST THREW EVERYTHING AWAY😭 I was so sad bc at the time I was sweeping the floor and I felt like GOD DAMN IT WHYYYYYYY. now I’m typing this back home on the couch and trying to tell myself “hey, at least u got the two mrs bear” BUT STILLLLL
ah so started off the shift all fine and dandy. Mine clock in number finally worked but when I clocked out, my manager was like wait a second ure supposed to put ur fingerprint. And I was like oh I didn’t and she was like it’s not supposed to work then. ANYWAY Cathy was there for the first half or so and there was one point in time when she told me to go to he freezer thingie to get gift items. Then Ryan saw me heading there and he took the paper of the counts and told me to follow him. I was so confused but he told me to follow him and told me that he told Cathy to do this “she does this sometimes.” Haha nice save. Then shim, as always, is super nice and so was Alejandra when she came to work. Cathy said something about me not knowing how to mop and I made some sort of face (like sad ish) and Alejandra was like that’s alright. So I was just happy that I’m working with nice people. Then I go on my break and asked for...