Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam · 45 Days · 15 Moments · March 2017

The tales of triggering Jank

15 April 2017

Hi folks! Yesterday we decided to get some bikes to explore the majestic views and elephant poos of Kho samui. We started off by finding a waterfall, where we fooled around and pissed on jank (by accident) it truly was like something out of a movie, about a jungle, in Kho samui.Unfortunately there was something in the water that meant I am now deformed, I hope you can still love me mum. We then drove around for a further 2/3 hours finding viewpoints and just generally enjoying the wind in our hair and the barbaric sun beating down on our belly buttons. We got back at around 6 o'clock, tired as heck, and famished. We sprinted down to the local food market and enjoyed some tasty food, a fantastic end to the day.

8 April 2017

(Uploaded for Thursday) today we were in HO Chi Minh, we started the day by getting some foody mc mcfoodface from the street food market, I had seafood rice, george Pat Thai, chaz a Bhan my and jednook a pulled pork bap, all enjoying the local cuisine. Following this we went to a 3D art museum which was pretty trucking awesome and extremely confusing. Here are some enjoyable snapshots !!! We then got an early flight the following morning and met Georgie and Sam in Bangkok!!! Fantastic to see familiar faces, and also brilliant to meet some new ones too, we also got suitably trillywibbled on khao san road, We're now heading off to khao Phangan for the full moon party, shock, the bus is late again.

4 April 2017

Last night we had a pub quiz at our hostel, alongside us we had an Irish chap called frank and a Finnish girl called janksbird (apparently a traditional Finnish name). Anyway, we won and subsequently got shots ,a beer tower and a group of prepubescent teen girls and their slightly older stalkers heckling abuse at us. Haters gunna hate, potatoes gunna potate. Today we have walked down this stream type contraption, visited the sand dunes where we sat on a sheet of plastic and bombed it down a hill, we're easily amused and jank chatted up a sandfly, beggars can't be choosers. We have now moved into a new 'hostel' which is essentially a tent on the beach. So yeah we're basically Bear Grylls apprentices. Bye

31 March 2017

Hello friends, I have awoken from a 2 week power nap. We are currently in Da lat which had been a throughly enjoyable experience (perhaps one of my favourite so far) Yesterday we rented scooters and shinged it from waterfall to waterfall whilst also making a detour at this cool rollercoaster type contraption (me seeing off a beer in photo 3). We later then went to a maze bar which was incredibly fun and equally a bit confusing for 3 and a half boozed up young rapscallions. Today we visited the da lat crazy house; in essence an incomplete building site/a creation of a shroomhead architect, so yeah pretty gnarly. We then went to the gym because we're GYM LADS 💪🏻 and you can't spell legendary without leg day. Since then we've chilled, Jank has drop kicked a Vietnamese child "by accident" and I've just chunned and feel like a potato, probably due to the slightly dodgy food that is most likely cat, I'm currently writing my will, if you want to be included just drop me a message x

13 March 2017

So yesterday evening we went up to the roof top bar again for more games and banter, this time with the addition of a "Kamikaze" drink which sent me sideways, but got Scotland on the board (I'm now the patron Saint of Scotland). Jank and I then headed down to the local club with the barman, where there was about 13,000 Cambodians and -3 English people. I was in my element. This morning we got up and ate some tasty breakfast and headed off to Kampot Arcadia, where I hurled myself down a slightly perilous slide, Jank and George launched me off a massive Pillow and sat in rubber tubes for hours, George and I admiring the Cambodian Landscape whilst Jank admired the beautiful female specimens. Since getting back we have done little apart from appreciate our new room and eat some chips. We decided to take a break from drinking copious amounts of alcohol and trying to socialise, I think if I played one more game of beer pong I'd turn into a ping pong ball

12 March 2017

(Uploaded late soz) So yesterday morning we said goodbye to sihanoukville and hello to the most overcrowded bus on the Sunda tectonic plate, with about 3 seats and 225 people it wasn't the most ideal, however I shotgunned and therefore got legroom and air con, winning. We arrived in Kampot after an hour and a half journey where we chucked our bags down and rolled down to the bar, figuratively speaking, for some of the local cuisine- fried rice and squid. In the evening we went to the roof top bar for some beer pong and card games where we met lots of friendly friends, but got maybe a bit too drunk due to the free "punch" and cheap Beer. In summary much enjoyment.

10 March 2017

We couldn't resist yet another day at Otres beach. At 10ish we ventured down, for a gentle stroll down the beach followed by some small Cambodian ladies elbow dropping us, frantically rubbing our backs and punching us in the foreheads for half an hour, apparently a massage, in spite of this 10/10 would do again (Jack payed an extra 3$ for a happing ending from Neil). We then had some tasty noodles on the beach, which were the nicest noodles in the world, better then Wagamamas and Burger King. After a long hard day of maxing relaxing and playing bball we have returned to the hostel to have supper and possibly go out tonight (photo of the 7th fattest chip in south east Asia and 2nd fattest in Cambodia)

9 March 2017

After seeing the sunset, we got back to our hostel room to get ready for the Jungle party, only to be met by a new room mate of whom was a fat, middle aged, loud typing Turk (we don't know if he's Turkish, but he lays on his bed like a turk). We started the night with drinking games and banter in the bar with our pals. At about midnight we headed into the jungle via tuk tukfor the techno party. The setup consisted of a Ferris wheel made out of kinex and superglue, bridges that surrounded an opening(constructed by blind 7 year olds) , and other cool yet slightly treacherous tings. hours of boogying and many beers later we decided to head home. We woke up this morning feeling like potatoes and therefore have done very little today. We've just gone to get some food and now we're going to play some card games, most likely snap as jank is incapable of anything else.(posted a day late due to the fisher price wifi)

8 March 2017

After visiting Siem Reap, sinoukhville Jampot and Phnom Penh, yesterday, we said a sad farewell to Cambodia; home to the longest chips in The world, creators of the stupidest steps in south east Asia, the country responsible for the most reckless drivers, the pioneers of the Golden bum gun and without a doubt the smelliest place I've been to, worse than Aldershot, but most importantly, the birthplace of Jank Jr, where Jank will one day return to give him some lessons in life and perhaps bring him up into a fine young man/lady. It's difficult to do a country like Scambodia justice in a few words, so here are a few of my favourite snaps (each for different reasons)

6 March 2017

The reason for the lack of uploading was due to bad wifi in Cambodian prisons- jack didn't realise headbutting a goat would get us imprisoned. 5th longest chip in Cambodia, I hope this makes up for my absence. Anyway after our extremely sketchy sleeper bus journey we arrived In sihanoukville, upon arrival we walked 13,000 miles via Moscow, Azerbaijan and Burkina to get to our hostel. During the day we relaxed and generally tried to overcome the trauma of the bus. At around 7ish we headed down to the bar and met some nice chaps from Birmingham ( I also didn't believe they existed) and some females from Sweden. We played games and quizzed the girls on IKEA. The following morning we decided to get a TukTuk to the beautiful local beach, where we had fun on the inflatables and had a tasty fish lunch ; barracuda, prawns and tuna. We are currently sat in a bar waiting for sunset whilst jank is having a shouting match with a four year old Cambodian girl about peppa pig, what is he like?!

5 March 2017

Yesterday the chaps and I thought it was only right to pay a visit to the infamous pub street. I think it's safe to say we took full advantage of the cheap beer- we got jibbalybibbobbed and crawled home in the early hours. Consequently we woke up today at around 2 o'clock and since, have done sweet duck all (I schooled jank on the pool table - also not an innuendo). we have just consumed some tasty Asian food and jank ate the 12th biggest chip in Cambodian history- that fork is normal size

4 March 2017

Following an early night (it was actually early, as jack was starting to look ugly and needed his beauty sleep) we dragged ourselves out of our beds to get a TukTuk to Angkor Wat at 4:50am As tough as this was, it was most certainly worth it to witness the Sunrise over the temple. After about 2 hours of exploring Angkor Wat we moved on to Angkor Thom which was equally as impressive however there were lots of old people that were loud and slow (some older than the ruins). Our Driver then took us to Ta keo which was the most untouched and oldest and thus my favourite. after climbing up some extremely steep and questionable stairs we reached the top which was both rewarding and held a very nice view. We then returned back to our hotel where we had a swim and then slept for 132 minutes. We're now sitting around preparing for our first night out in Siem Reap, whilst Jack is trying to make friends with a rabies ridden cat- not an innuendo.

3 March 2017

Being our last night in Bangkok, we decided it was only right if we got trillywibbled on Khao San road, which we achieved, however we decided to ignore the fact that we had to be up by 5:00am for our Coach to Cambodia, thus we thought pulling an all nighter was the best option leaving us confused and peeeted, which was worsened by the fact that the workers at the bus depot had -3 brain cells and were more oblivious than us. By 12:30 we had reached the Cambodian border, it smelt and people attempted to scam us. We finally arrived to our hostel at around 6 o'clock. At 7ish we decided food and beer was necessary, especially as Jank was close to tears (in the restaurant I realised I could make cool noises with my mouth). This was followed by some shopping at the night market where we bought the staple gap yahhh garments. We're now lying in our room and jack is on tinder speaking to his girl/boy friend

2 March 2017

Following our tiring and rather sweaty day we decided the best way to wind down was with a couple of Beers in the Hostel bar and an early night... however, inevitably, being the legends we are, that was never going to happen. We met a few nice chaps and a nice chappette in the bar of whom we got extremely intoxicated with . After eventually awakening we ventured into the heart of Bangkok and walked up 344 stairs to get a panoramic view over Bangkok and see truck loads of Golden Buddhas (as you can see in the 4th photo I was so amazed that my face actually melted) The day went on, seeing more aesthetically pleasing statues & temples. However we then got dragged into a tourist information centre by a small Asian tuk tuk driver, where a welsh man proceeded to try and sell us everything under the sun; boat parties, motorbike trips and jacks anal virginity. After finally escaping unscathed we decided we'd call it a day, we're now just relaxing and jacks stalking girls on Facebook.

1 March 2017

After a trucking long flight, an incredibly monotonous and hot walk, we finally found our Hostel in Bangkok, Lub d, which coincidently rhymes with lovely. We later explored Bangkok and ate some of the local cuisine, George and i feasted on a Pad Thai and jack dined on one of the finest lady boy's in Bangkok, Derek. Anyway now we're drinking beer and sharing banter