Two months have passed since my grandma's passing. It is still very surreal to return to my home town and not being able to go see her. I have since learned about the terminal illness of both parents of one of my closest friends. I am currently going through a very tough breakup. My heart has never been heavier than in the last few months and the emotional baggage gets very close to unbearable at times. I have always been a very compassionate and caring person and the weight of the world in recent months is growing too heavy. Therefore I have decided to take some time to tend to my needs of calm and peace, regain some energy to face whatever future obstacles life decides to throw at me, my loved ones and any fellow humans whom I wish nothing but love and compassion for. My upcoming vacation was going to go differently, but now that I'm on my own, I will fullfil a longterm dream of traveling to India and spending some time in an Ayurvedic center, away from everything I know.
27 January 2014
When I went on a big 7 month trip around the world, grandma was my biggest fan. She hung the world map with my rough outline of the trip in her bedroom and she would print my travel blog entries to read in bed at night when she was struggling with insomnia. She clicked through every single photo I put on Facebook and enjoyed commenting the ones she liked best or the ones she found odd. When I came back from my trip she urged me to finish the entries of the countries that I hadn't gotten around to yet. She would have loved to see me turn my blog into a book. Although flattering, I knew that it would at most run a handful of copies, but I was going to fulfill her that wish one day. I didn't get to. This blog app is going to help me substitute that book and I will start each entry with dear grandma. I decided to write in English, as I think it will reach a bigger audience this way (if at all) and I also believe that Regina is going to get it, I'm bringing her along on all my trips anyway.
I was going to start using this app for my travel notes and to document my numerous trips for my family, especially my beloved late grandma Regina. I downloaded the app for myself and I was going to download it to her devices the next time I saw her. I never got to do that. At only 69, she passed away suddenly and unexpectedly and left behind a huge gap in our hearts, deep as the grand canyon, which is one of the many sites in the world that she was lucky enough to see with her own eyes. She loved to travel and has seen beautiful places on several continents. The trips that she went on with the most hesitation ended up being the ones she had the most wonderful experiences on. That is why she kept telling me to go. 'You are young and there are so many places you'll see! You have all those possibilities.' Even when I was much younger and I was planning a trip, she had the strongest words of encouragement for me. She was my inspiration, my role model. So this is for her. Here it goes.