Thailand · 10 Days · 26 Moments · October 2017

Amy's journi to Thailand

2 November 2017

Today's an absolute chilled day!! Currently hammocking by the ocean with Simon, Laurence and Emily! I'm very lucky to here!
Yesterday we got up early and went for breakfast and a pool day! We then swam with baby elephants in the ocean! It was funny as fuck! Kate had to be pushed up on to her elephant! Emily's kept flipping her off its trunk! The elephants looked happy enough! Was a great experience!! We then took a beer and watched the sun set! Then had some good!! Was a lovely girls day and it resulted in Simon joining us! We ended up on walking street and around 50 lady Boys shouting " hey handsome man" oh and Emily got her first tattoo!
I bumped into my lady boy friend shampoo! She looks awesome! So beautiful!Nadine put her family to bed and was out in full force bouncing around ting tong with a big chang! She had to go eventually and I hung out in a lady bar with a friend for a few! I was in bed earlier than the rest!
We all woke up and I headed to the mini mart and decorated the outside with balloons and banners along with another bar for Laurence's birthday! We then got him dressed up as a woman! With some fairy wings and a unicorn horn! He looked so pretty! We drank and partied and went to mods bar as she wanted to see Laurence! Lots of people were stopping to take pictures with Laurence! We then went for food as A had made a huge cake as a surprise! As we all made our order .. Laurence then on his 30th birthday ordered.. a hangover shake and a barrage of fruit! The whole table burst out laughing and immediately added whiskey to it! We went back to mods where she had decorated the bar and had another birthday cake for Laurence! Simon was inside a mini mart busting out several dance moves looking for ketchup crisp! The night took a strange turn as the French guy was off his tits! He fell over and cracked open his head, he also stunned his toe.. he then proceeded to pull off his toe nail later on
The next day was a nice day! We all went to another beach and chilled out the whole day! Put our deckchairs in the water and just hung out! It was so relaxing! We then went to Rasta view which is beautiful ! We hung out their and then me, Laurence and Kate jumped on one mop'ed and drove back to lonely beach! Pretty chilled night as it was Laurence's birthday the next day! The whole crew including Nadine was attending! I went to say bye to the Americans .. Kathy and Sam and Sam did open mic night! They have given me their cowboy hat! I have mixed feelings about it!
The next day is when Emily, Kate and Simon arrived.. us and the new gang headed to the mini mart as that's the place to be and caught up! Was good to see everyone! We went to stone free and bumped into the American couple and well had a laugh and a smoke! all night and went for a sunrise swim! The German guy had never been night or morning swimming before so decided to strip down to what he as born on! All of a sudden he slipped down the lope legs a kimbo and hit his body off or a rock! Luckily he was ok! We all went out under the stars swimming ! It was all going well until I noticed the german guys penis bobbing around in the sea like a jelly fish! Mike was still quite wasted and thought that he was at a Thai wedding and kept telling me to put shoes on and pointing to two little brown leafs on the floor! It was a long night but so much fun! We eventually called it a night!
The next day was always gonna go tits up! Laurence and mike my best friends from home were arriving! I was sat with the new gang! We all had a beer and headed to happy hour! Then we did the rounds to our friends bars to say hello! We ended up having a chilled night actually! All in bed for 1 am! Which is a first!
Oh and before that people kept asking us to be quiet but i simply replied NO! We are on holiday for god sake!
He had a paid threesome the night before with a lady boy and a girl! We hung out the day and headed to warapura for happy hour where we bumped into an awesome American couple I had befriended the night before or so! We all hung out and laughed! Then we met Nadine! Nadine is awesome, she was here on holiday with her kids and husbands and friends ! They all headed to bed and we partied with Nadine! That night we went to joy cottage and bumped into a German guy Cristoph and one of the northern guys! We all bought beer and headed to ours! It was going well and we were laughing until the northern guy started been all homophobic! Next thing I know I am throwing open my doors wrapped in a towel having a go! We all went to bed after that.
So yeah it's been maybe 5 days since I wrote I'm this! I had a strong feeling this would be the case! The night I last updated ended up been grand! The following morning I was in my hammock and heard an argument between a prostitute and a guy, coming from the room a few days down! I went to to see what was going on and there was a good stood in his boxer shorts , covered in UV paint looking confused! I noticed it was the same prostitute that is here every year! She has no front teeth! Turns out she had climbed into his bed when he was asleep, he woke up and she demanded money! We got rid of her and me and him became friends! Pierre from France obviously! I liked him immediately!

31 October 2017

30 October 2017

24 October 2017

I always stay at Cafe Del Sunshine! The owners and the staff are amazing! They feel like family! I would highly recommend this place! The foods amazing too!
That doesn't involve marrying a local and getting Thai'd down! I had my nails done but they have all peeled off now! This girlie business isn't for me! I know I should probably learn Thai but it's not going in! I can say " hello , thanks, very beautiful, very drunk and boom boom" oh and " nice to meet you" so for now it's ok! Been getting bit a fair bit by the mozzies maybe I'm not drinking enough gin! The sun should set in an hour or so! Il never get bored of watching it! It's one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and I can't wait til everyone gets here to join me! I seriously think I may have ADHD! I'm gonna have an early night tonight I think...
So 4 days until 4 of my good friend get here! We haven't all been together in years so I fear that they might be burying more people than the king this month! A couple more friends are coming too so it's gonna be the best! It's Laurence's 30th too so gonna be extra special! For those of you who know me you will know the legend that is Laurence Trafford! Then we have Simon or Seaman as the Thais call him and Mike M Romance from the old crew! I'm hoping to chill out more than I ever have after Thailand so might as well go out with a bang! I know I keep mentioning it but the people here are amazing! They would do anything for you! They are just so ridiculously chilled out and laid back and don't judge you! Yeah we might get the occasional " you drink too much" but tell me something I don't know! I need to work out a plan to live here!
Went to say hi to my friend Thong with the chicken shop who was very excited to see me then ended up sitting with a girl from Austria who's staying in my bungalows! She's covered in tattoos and piercings she seems pretty awesome! Then it was back to the hammock and now I'm back at the bar I come to watch the sunset as I love the view and it's a good place to write! As I type this there is one of the waiters giving me a free shoulder massage! They are cool here! Not much English but that's ok! And one of them calls me beautiful girl so I will take it as I've been feeling gross lately!
Gyrating to lady Gaga - bad Romance! Ended up heading home and grabbing a falafel and calling it a night! The lady bar had a really drunk shoeless man in their grabbing all of the lady Boys! Woke up this morning at 7 am with a mouth as dry as a camels arse in a sand storm! Headed to the shop in my PJs , no bra and stocked up on fluids! Got back and the bottle of water rolled under the decking where it still is now! Spent te morning chilling in my hammock! Today's a lazy day! Had some food and bumped into an Italian man I had met in the mini bus down here!
So last night ended up been pretty sweet! Went and caught up with a friend who runs a bar\brothel.. kind of! She's the smallest little thing! She's pretty gangster to be fair! After a couple of Samson and sodas and an Irish coffee I headed up the lady bar! Although I was on my own I could not stop laughing! One of the lady boys .. Sonia is my friend so I sat with her and she talked me into buying her drinks! " drink for me, don't be shhyyy" in a high pitched Thai voice! If you have been to Thailand you will be able to imagine! She was drinking San Miguel light, most expensive thing on the menu! We chatted and shared menthol cigarettes, although I don't even smoke and the bar woman who was short with spiked hair .. I think she said her name was Liam?! Could be wrong, made us some food! It was the spiciest thing I have ever eaten! It resulted in me sucking on ice cubes and very close to shoving some up my a hole to calm the stinging! Sonia kept standing up shouting " don't be shy" whilst
Yesterday when I came back to Koh Chang was the best! All the locals were hugging me and saying welcome back! This really is home to me! One guy randomly wound down his car window and shook my hand saying welcome back! No idea who he was! Anyway il love you and leave you I am off to hang out at the lady bar by mine! The lady boys Are pretty cool! And funny! Peace and love! Amy Crank!
up! At least aged 40s bit man she was hot! She looked Swedish! So we got one more and told more stories! She was about to get deported from the uk when she was you younger! She was out at a nightclub and she approached two guys .. one French and one from Leeds and said " I need one of you to marry me so I can stay over here" and that was the start of a 19 year marriage that she is still in! Although when I left to come watch the sunset the two of them looked pretty cosy! ;)
met an older man who's married to a local woman! He is French! He stared at me for ages and said " I know you, I have seen you on Facebook, you loved in Brittany, benodet and Call it benodeath! I'm from Brittany and that's brilliant" he now refers to me as " Miss Benodeath" and keeps chuckling! Incase you don't know benodeath is the place I depend the last 6 and a half months working! To sum it up .. hell on earth! Let's leave that there! So I'm sat at the bar debating what to do and a man rocks up and sits down! Late 40s, scraggly hair, pretty cool! We then get chatting about all sorts of shit! Music, lady boys.. the usual! He introduced me to. Late 90s band called "Alabama 3" they are pretty sweet! He told me a story about when he met them and sold them cocaine.. on two different occasions! I liked him , he was cool travelled a lot and had Lot of stories to tell! So obviously I am easily led astray so I had a few whiskey sodas! Just as I was about to leave an American chick rocked
So im supposed to be in Sri Lanka, but that's a different story! So it turns out I'm back in Koh Chang... I always end up back in Koh Chang! On lonely beach! I'm currently laid at warapura with a strawberry daiquiri and a Chang beer about to watch a big storm! Shovelling in the free peanuts like nelly the elephant! The suns just set and it was fucking beautiful! I have been at stone free bar today chilling out where I met some pretty awesome people throughout the duration of the day! So I was just hanging out writing in my diary when I discovered this app! Which is way more ideal as it will remind me to write on a daily basis! Although I prefer old school pen and paper this does not seem to be working too well for me! Ning and mon the owners of stone free are the most amazing people! and their adopted son Stang who's 14! I love seeing their faces! Stang usually hangs out with me more but he's going through puberty and his voice sounds very Elmo - ish! So feel he may be embarrassed!

23 October 2017